34 laws of Finding awesome

May 02, 2021

34 laws of Finding awesome

Sometimes life will throw curveballs that will transform you in ways you never imagined. Life will stretch you fold you and sometimes shake you, and in most while you may stand there wondering, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED? You find out that you too are capable of jumping on tables, being all ratchet should you be pushed to the extremes. But those are the defining moments that have the potential to create a legend out of you. As you stand on your crossroad, you get sudden strength that allows you to fly beyond your wildest imagination. And just for a minute, you may sit and say, I can't believe this is me.

I was a little girl, probably seven years old, or nine, and got awarded most polite girl in my Sunday school. I grew up a pretty harmless pum pum, and as many harmless fellows, I earned myself the infamous statement, "Sijawi kukuona umekasirika". This was before the phase that you start to suddenly feel like wildlife :).
Moving very fast to over 20 years, now having a little over three decades to my life, I at some point lifted a middle finger to a rough matatu driver chasing me up the pavement, and had an unfortunate incident of telling a colleague to " Fuck off" in my own defence or so I thought, managed to secure unfollowing as I had blocked a few. I bet you too, have successfully managed to piss a few people off till they cross the road at your sight. Today, as I look back, and realize, you cannot walk around so heavy-hearted, carrying loads of baggage and toxic energy distributed all over, life is to be traveled lightly if at all we are to find our awesome!!! As they say- hii life haina makasiriko.
That notwithstanding, I took the disovery journey to turn anger in to action to find my awesome. Along the way, I got afforded one of the greatest honors of my life. I made it to the Top 35 under 35, excellence award, nominated Top women in Business, afforded the YALI fellow honor, started an enterprise, Dream Tribe Network Africa, now has a community of over 500 members, that was recognized as a top ten most innovative Ideas in The Governors Star-Up Challenge by #YEPInspirations in 2018, that ushered me into the most interesting entrepreneurial adventure ever.
It really makes me question, why was I afraid of the future? Why was I even afraid of turning 30, when in real sense that's when life really begun? Eventually, everything has turned out right. You bet it will for you, incase you are out there wondering why you are even here?
It was not always this peaceful, the twenties had a way of feeling like you are walking on fire, walking in the midst of storms, and chewing sand, tasting even betrayal at first hand and staying up late a night wailing, as you taste the salt of your own tears, reminding you of your deep misery and the thought of having absolutely nothing going for you is quite heart wrenching. Especially after getting used to being a Top performer, failing can feel strange. It shocks your entire system.

But then again after the humility of starting over again, I have learned these 34 of my thirty four years,inspired by my top 35, hence 34 of 35 laws. I guess it is true, past rock bottom is a shooting start waiting to rise. You have to find some humor while at it.

I hope these 34 of 35 will be a great lead to allowing you to reach out for your awesome, incase you are not really feeling that way!!! I hope that I will be able to keep up on my various pages, as I also now an extremely busy woman with a vision and mission these days with everyone demanding a piece of me!!! If you are able to look beyond the mad, you will find your diamond!!!

1. Choose your self:
I used to wait around for someone to pick me, and get so broken when it didn't happen. Realizing it may not happen and would end up with years of hoping and possible anguish, I had to learn how to make it happen myself, learning to be shameless and place the self and offering self. I started my own enterprises, allowing myself to be CEO of my own life. I gave myself the names I believe to own and went for what I believed to deserve, as a result wearing many hats and different capacities, I found my confidence along the way. I guess, if you won't get given, you give to yourself. That is the most liberating fact of our century, that you can wake up and call yourself queen shaniqua, and queen shaniqua you will be!
"When they said it is impossible, I made it happen".
2. Find your why: Why is it important that you win? What about your history sends you back on high vibration. Sometimes it is someone else, sometimes it is the fact that we don't see many winners where we come from, so winning becomes the only way to change history. Whatever it is, find it. We find ourselves out of focus when we forget why we started or why we need to start, why we are doing what we are doing. That is how we find ourselves deeply in the wrong direction, gallivanting aimlessly. Focus is everything. Remembering your why will keep you committted. Commitment breeds results. Your why will inform every decision you make and keep you focused.

3. Find your courage: Everything great begins with courage. To walk in to rooms of strangers or even to pick a phone to call a stranger, it may take a toll on a person, but you do it, because you have to. Before you know it, what once needed courage has become a part of who you are.

You must find the courage to leave tables where respect is no longer served, or trying to squeeze in tables you aren't invited or are tolerated. Your self-esteem is directly connected to this. The more you chip yourself to satisfy another, the more you lose yourself to the other. Invest yourself wholly in spaces where arms are wide open. It will build your confidence.

4.Show up for the absolutely amazing. Unless it is absolutely amazing, there may be no particular need for you to dress up and show up for it: Somebody is trying to drag you into some boring existence. If it is not in your vision and mission, you can decline. Say yes to things that set your soul on fire!!! Don't agree to projects, just for you to go and be negative energy therein. I think it is better to be absent than present and a carrier of negative vybes!!! Reserve your energy, money and your airtime for things that make you happy to be alive.

5. You HAVE to maintain a sense of little nervousness to get you striving to perform: You cannot just not care, you have to care, some people's lives may just be on the line as you pose there not caring. Step up, so that your efforts are counted. In case it is not your specialty have the decency to depart. I figured at some point, we are not for everything or everyone and neither is everyone and everything for us, realizing this, will save us energy and the energy of others!!!

6.No one has the monopoly of knowledge: your experience is knowledge. Not only a degree, that is a recitation of another person's information and experience. Call yourself whoever, because you are an expert of your life. Declare random times for speeches and call for meetings. You are a legend in the making and so what you have to say is important!!! Once you believe this, everybody will have to adjust to this. On that note, take time to look at other perspectives as well, so as not to be ignorant as well. Learning is a continous journey, once you stop learning, you stop growing too.

7. Go to the centre take your stage #TakeUpSpace: What are you doing in the corner. Shine, speak loudly and look good. Do go not go creeping around. Be the girraffe. Be the elephant in the room. Every time you fold your self, you are denying the world the masterpiece that you really are. It is not the most knowledgeable that get applauded, it is the most courageuos. Incase somebody does not like that you take up space and thinks you should remain folded, consider that witchcarft. Great people want you to succeed and be happy. On that note, still maintain humility as your bigness should never be through putting another down, but in allowing every essence of you to radiate. Only small people put others down.
8. When something works, repeat it, when it doesn’t, don’t keep doing it. That is where consistency works for success, but also consistency on the wrong thing leads to repeated failure!!! There is always a way and you are brilliant enough to find it!!! Because in you, you are full of brilliance, never forget it!!!
9. Forgive and release, and let it not be repeated: You cannot suffer high blood pressure for someone probably eating bacon at home. Thus, forgiveness is mostly for you. No need to suffer a heart attack for carrying heavy burdens. Seriously, reserve your care for people who are anguished by your anguish, not for the causes of it!!! Let it be clear where there are boundaries lay, so that you may not be taken too casually. You are rare, you are not a casual walk over!!! Let it be clear where you stand.

10. Be a brand: People say, oh, you don't need to strive for fame. You really should. Not really the embaraba way, but see now we all know him. Weh, but Just work hard to be famous at what you do. Do it well. Strive for Quality through your quantity, Class and sheer brilliance, that will bring fame. Honestly, it is when more people know of the work you do can you get more opportunities to do what you do often. How often do people cross from one end of town to the next to look for that one tailor. It is not that this tailor is like every other tailor. It is because, this tailor is quite distinct and more so, everyone knows this tailor.

"People will go around town looking for someone like you and they will not find " make sure you are not a copy of everyone, be the original, the only exemption, everybody is trying to sound and look the same.

11. Get on the high horse: Stay on the high horse, never depart from the high horse, nothing awesome happens at the bottom. Think very highly of yourself!!! You are a child of God, what could be more powerful. You may be underestimated, but do not underestimate self. Everybody wanting you out of the high horse may be wanting you low enough to be stepped on. Let me know incase there is any joy in being a door mat!!! Don't think so. Strive everyday to have a seat at the table. Food tastes differently there. You don't need to walk on your knees to satisfy crowds.

12. Learn to define your self-importance away from things: Be important even without them. You are not poor, poor is an attitude, snap out of it. So you are defined by the essence of your being!!! Life is such that, we don't really own anything, in a second we may not have it. But as was said of a slave who never acknowledged to be one, someone can't make you a slave, unless you agree, it's all in the attitude, find it!!! Be confident even if you rise from a hat every morning. Rise like the sun rose just for you this morning. It did!!!

13. No need to put people in their place, they already know it. Plus what if God was to up you in your place, you may find yourself below sea level!!! Let people be, who knows what events everybody is going through in their life. Live your life and water your garden. Haya mengine waachie wenyewe!!! My people say, fuata lako.

14. When you get to the rock bottom, don’t stay there too long, shoot. But don't be in a hurry, learn as much as you can as you rise, so that you may never find yourself there again. Don't be ashamed. It is a journey, many of us have been part of. Sometimes it is the neccessary experience to push us to rebirth. When that happens, we are never the same again.

15. Find a way to serve others to distract you from thoughts of yourself through and through. Every success is intertwined either because of others or with others, never for your own. Find a way to share your cake in a way that others get to have a piece, you will be surprised with the results. Many people are great, don't be stuck with the malpractise and bad behaviour of others. They should never make you loose faith in humanity. People are really good, people are kind and people are noble. Always remember that.

16. Seek results in overactivity. What is the end goal of these many moves. For what particular reason am I getting up at 4:00 am for. If the output is activity for the sake of activity, you are better off spending your afternoon taking a nap. Rest will reward you than aimless activity for the sake of it. Our frustrations do not come from doing nothing only, our frustration may come from over activity that resuts to nothing. When we move up and down too much, and not feel some form of a reward, it can kill our spirit. Normalize doing less for more impact. Busyness is addictive, but it does not mean you do nothing at all. Zero times zero is zero. Be active an proactive, but be very calculated in the moves.
17. Focus on the action: Writing our vision and mission is quite addictive, and sometimes writing our goals in all colors is even more addictive. We all do it, when we are trying to rid ourselves of the action, sometimes because of the fear we over-study. Imagine, you already know what to do. Cute notes are not outputs, neither are meetings, day dreaming and visualization. Sometimes on has got to act inspite our fears, find the courage to get in the field. That is where is fulfilment is.
18: You do not ask for permission to be awesome, inform, you are not in class four where you get permitted to go to the washroom. In many cases when you ask for permission, the answer will be no. So, you are better off acting and having to explain. As long as it is legal and a good cause, you are on track. When you have an idea, act on it. Don't be out there overthinking, just do oh!!!
19. Back up your no: Is a child going to ask you to buy her ice cream, and you say no without explanation? Sometimes it is okay to care who you are saying no to. Unless it is an insensible ask, sure, explain when you have to let someone down. You will sleep better at night, you will also feel a better human. Being nice is actually a good thing. Let not the 48 laws of power decieve you that power is more important than being a kind human!!! You get what you dish out, be cautious.
20. Numbers are BAE, major your success with numbers more than theories. This includes money, impact, people. Learn to count. I always say, there can be bare minimum, but there need not be a cap on possibilities. What if you can reach billion impact? Just what if? Hope is not achievement, numbers are. I have had to re-learn this many times.
21. Once you feel like you are disturbing someone, take back your disturbance, respect thyself to not be categorized as the stalker, pest, needy or whetever names people give to oversocial beings. Focus on those joyful to hear from thee!!! It will make you less bitter and angry as those that find you fascinating will always be looking forward to a cup of your wisdom, and this will inspire you to create more.
22. Be a people pleaser: People are precious, please them. Open your world so that they can reach your heart. This is to people who appreciate being pleased by you, remove your pleasing traits from those who interprete your please ability as foolishness to walk over and practise bad behaviour. Pleasingness should not be wasted on people opting to misinterprete your intentions. Great people always appreciate the effort, so don't live in fear of what everyone else is thinking. To live wholly is to allow yourself to wholly share without reservation, even with the risk that your heart could break, at least you didn't live half a life. You will have lived fully.
23. Don’t allow self to be referred to as common mwananchi, you are not common, you are a hybrid that is unique!!! Even your twin could never have a copy of your thumb. How much more billion strangers? What makes you common is that you are trying to copy everyone, when God made you an originial. Find that originality and next time a politician calls the common, don't count that as you. You are a gem. You are unique and you are extra-ordinary.
24. It is illegal to be boring: wOrk hard always to be fascinating, exciting and thrilling in your own space. Make life exciting for yourself first. Then, try engage everyone and try to listen some more. Allow people to share in their excitement, even as you share conversations. Since people enjoy hearing themselves, you can never be a bore if you listnen. Think the best of people and be curious about them whithout internally rolling your eyes internally and thinking the worst of people. Realizing this made socialization more simpler than when I thought I must always excavate the stories and be the entertainer. When you find you are the one who has been talking for the last 30 minutes in what is supposed to be a dialoge, you have started to bore the population. Change your ways nani :). Greatest lesson of my life.
25. You know something. You have been educated for most of your life. You are in the fittest of the survivors lot. Don’t beat about the bush when they call for an expert. Don't just pose there, be pro-active, don't wait to be introduced, introduce yourself. Of course you are an expert of your life. You should not sit there on a corner as if if you own nothing, have nothing to say. You do. No one can be more expert of your life and existence that you are. Listen deeply, and be heard with the same depth as well. You have a lot to say. You are not a minority, you are quite major. You deserve to be heard!!!
26. Don’t let the world change you oh, find a way to kindness and beauty: Don't invite yourself to fights, and you do not have to show up to every arguement. There are people who enjoy to argue and will pull you in whenever, decline to participate. And you don't have to pay back fist for fist. Remember when fighting with a pig, you will be disgusted by the mad, but the pig will actually enjoy it. That is how you find yourself becoming Jezebel without knowing. Let it go and surrender, you will sleep better at night, and we all know sleep is important. And with our goals to look like Akothee by the time we are fourty, we cannot allow us to not sleep and drink water.

27 . Say yes often: If it something great and wonderful. Be part of it. There is always something to learn and there is always a new way to go about it. If it is something within your ability, take it up. It may actually end up being the way that you have been seeking. Many things are trial and error before you become sure, this is it.

28. No need to over-explain: Those that hear you, will always understand and hear you. Those that don't will be judging somewhere thinking you could have been superman and done even more or probably not. Explaining to these will chip off your soul when people are determined to misunderstand you. It may not be worth it, as those seeking to misunderstand you always will find a route that leads that direction. Even if you wore no clothes, they would say, you should take off your skin as well. Why bother? God has seen what passed, he will sanitize you in time.

29. You can change your mind: Always remember you can change your mind. If you planned to go jump on a hole, it doesn't mean you must. Changing minds is a human trait that should be cherised. No need to keep going in the wrong direction. Remember we are human, even in the middle of a sentence, you may just discover how wrong you are. No shame in the game, just turn, take back your words and still remain dignified. It is better that to push an arguement just for the sake of it. Sometimes being kind is better than being right!!! Actually most times.

30. Let go of the Ego, it serves no one, only makes you feel silly, look silly, especially because you get bruised readily. Ego is heavy, it can't be maintained if one is to travel further. At some point, ego got to be dropped somewhere. Keep your pride though, you need it to ensure you don't eat grass. Having some sense of pride will always motivated you to get up. There should be a limit to how low you can possibly go. Decline that Satun makes you ashes. You are gold.

31. Schedule good times: Everybody wants a piece of your time even for the most ridiculous activities, and good times can end up nowhere on the list. Make it a habit to put good experience in your schedule. Bad experience have no manners, they just show up, but good times are dates we must always make it. Part of living the dream, is truly living and actually enjoying it.

32. Be kind for all that it is worth. Kindness makes the world go round, even your own. You want to be part of it. Unkindness leaves us feeling empty and lonely for often everybody wants to feel at home, and not on a war zone. No body wants to wear shoes, comb their hairs, struggle through town to come to be attacked. Say no to bad behaviours.

Also, strangers surprise us when we least expect it, sometimes they are the key to our dreams, sometimes they become our friends, sometimes our spouses even. You just never know. But even if they won't, it does not mean you can shout at them, attack them or belittle them. The audocity!!!

33.Allow the world to experience the best of you: You are not made of challenges, failure or any of that. These visit, but they are not all there is to you. You are made of sunshine, beauty and talent. Allow yourself to radiate. You cannot be defined by the unfortunate incidences in your life. They do not begin to define who you really are, so radiate and shine. Become an advocate for them because you have overcome them and they have made you stonger, but may they not be definitive of who you are. Remember you are a masterpiece a Satun may want to disrupt your story by keeping you defined as victim. You are stronger because of them, but they are not who you are. Begin to change that narrative.

34. Take the journey to explore you, and the essence of your being. You are a star in the sky. You are the mountain peak up high. You are a child of the most high God. Finding awesome is not about finding something that is way outside yourself, more than it is, a journey back to yourself. You are already are all these!!! You already are a masterpiece. Find a way to vibrate as such. You are a conquerer, yes you are.