The parable of a grown woman

He he he, I know some were starting to be relieved that this year we missed the speech 🤣. Can't happen, won't happen.  I guess, I have found that there is so much to learn every waking moment.

Looking back, so reflective and so pensive, I am appreciative of every breath and every daylight. For now I know these are the things I can't give myself, but have been given gracefully. At the center of my life, the beginning and my end is God. And though we always say, life is never that serious, it actually is. Can’t think of anything more serious than life, really!

 

And as the wishes flocked in, I guess my eyes opened to the fact that the greatest achievement you can have is investing in people. Because though now I have a few things, only thing that could love me back are people. And thus, the most important of all is our investment in people and how you leave people feeling and how your presence feels. Is it freeing or is it persecuting?

 

While I thought you can truly cut off people, you really can't. You will think of them every waking moment, and that is okay. You can't quite unfriend your friends even if you love them from a distance, if you ever love them for sure, they will always have a special place in your heart memory, they will always be people who matter to you. And your hatred for them isn't really hatred, but an unrequited love, disappointment, and unhealing heartbreak that leave you with some scars. Such is life.

 

You learn to see family as a gift given to you freely. And though in your younger years, all you wanted to do was escape from them, today, all you want is to stay close. Because nothing is more fulfilling than being around people who care about you for no reason at all. Family is your true ride-or-die. Even when you have nothing to offer. In a world that can judge you, family can't, won’t and have not. So I guess, for all that is worth, cross over oceans, get on mountains for family, so that they know you got them, and that they matter.

 

Then, there is the family of the people who choose you and you choose. The friends that became family 👪,  the friends that became lovers. And those you build a home with. Can you think of a thing more beautiful than someone opening their world so that you can be part of it? It is easy to take even those for granted, but at the foundation of the most beautiful things in the world, are beautiful friendships, uncorrupted, unconditional, and beautiful. Everybody wants to be loved by someone for all that they are, even when stripped bare and have nothing. Everyone wants to be a treasure for and of someone or some people.

 

Looking back, you truly learn that it isn't in the years, but, it is in the moment that take your breath away. Though they are rare, they are something to live for. That maybe for once you can opt to live a more passionate life, out of this world. While ships are safe at the harbor, that is not what ships are for. And, so courage is the most important of all virtues because it allows you to be all you can be and get all you can. And about the rules, I guess you make them as you go. You take the rules in a way that is true for you and real for you. Though you don’t risk death, but few times you must risk something, failure, rejection, and even possible pain. For if you don’t risk those, you don’t get to experience the other side too, the taste of victory, satiated existence, and probably the greatest love of all. And maybe the greatest satisfaction of all, is, I conquered my greatest fear once even as I lived, even if it is for one day. It is a badge of honor, something to look back on with pride, I did that!

 

You learn, while you think that you exist to self-actualize, you realize your only value is attached to how well you serve humanity. And that your self-actualization is so that you can be more. That your success is intertwined with the service of others and not the service to yourself. Thus, there is the realization that self-love has to translate into how you love the world and how you give yourself more to it. And that the greatest leader is the greatest servant of them all. The one who gets out and gives it the best shot, because people-pleasing is worth it. In fact, it is everything.

 

But in the same breath, the foundation of every great thing is YOU. You are the center of it all. You are the producer, writer, and masterpiece. It is you to be complete and figure out how can I be of most value to humanity? How can I serve them? And in that regard, we must go on a journey of discovery, until we figure something out. Who are we? Why are we here? And for whom?

 

So love until your heart aches. No point in lazy half-love, energy sacking, and draining love, you might as well not have it. If you are to love people, you should love them well, even if it is not forever, you must love them in a way they can never be loved as well. How you do one thing is how you do all things, so even for your work, children, and friends should be people that are loved with all your might in a way they can’t be unloved by you, even if it is not forever, but for the while that you exist in their lives.

 

You must love passionately even at the risk of your own disappointment. So, if it works, great, if it doesn’t, you take your simp title and start again. Living life in fear of heartbreaks, losing work, or any loss is a bore. We all will lose something and people, we might as well give them a worthwhile ride. A full love is any day better than half a love. Your half input in what you do does not serve but takes away from humanity. Be all in and get heartbroken, you will have a good story of how you crawled on fours when your heart broke. It is better than to exist to do chores without passion and exist for the mere fact of responsibility. But if you must, you must find a way to exert some passion in all you do. And as for work, you must find a way around it, to eventually find the thing that lights your soul on fire. Because your work fills a large part of your life.

You must seek to know so that you fill your life with passion and excitement that satiates your curiosity and drives you to your mastery. You must put all your eggs in one basket and hope it turns out well. If it doesn’t, find another basket. I guess there is no reason to half-arse anything, even your work. Living a life that is less than passionate is throwing our life away, to live with regrets and wonder hmm, what could have been of following my dreams, my greatest talents, gifts, and whatever else you care for.

 

About culture, you question it. Because you ask, who could come up with something as simplistic as women should not eat chicken wings. But you also appreciate it for how it has held the world together. But as for letting it be the tool that controls you, probably not. Because for a long as you have read history, culture has shifted in many ways. Thank God, today culture is empowering to us, and we can be someone. We make culture, and if it is not working for us, how can we improve it in a way that works for all of us.

 

I have found myself deeply loving the savage. The ones that broke free from shackles placed by others. The ones that showed the world that they can go for their dreams and be all that they can be. Dream, be, do all that is wonderful, noble and just. I love most the women that went to stage in a time when women couldn’t, opening paths where none existed before. Though I love nice, I love women that say it as is, take it or live it. I admire totally the ones that sit at the periphery ready to transition culture in a way that hasn’t been done. They have lived all they can, and what’s not to love about a woman creating her own rules and becomes timeless while at it. In a world where many of us, have accepted to be the caged birds wishing to be free, women that live freely liberate us, and we live through them…

 

So today in my new age, my greatest wish it to find my inner savage, the timeless wonder that contributes to an empowering narrative. To be a woman with a voice, with great reason, kindness and mastery, and also totally authentically savage, strong fabulous and definitely fierce.