Wedding bells Nding ndong and the pull of being a girl versus being a woman

Last week when I went to school; to pick my year book, some one asked me, So now what next, and I was like by the way what next? Well if you are like me who used to plan life at twenty or eighteen and sixteen, I thought that I would be in a la maison, a huge one of ten bedrooms or more, more like a community house, I wanted a huuuuuuuuge wedding. I loved big things, big has always been extremely significant to me. But now, whatever happened to me to love simple things though not small no, far from it, I want to have more than just enough, I want to more than just survive, but to have even enough to share and extend to alot more to enjoy lifes pleasure so the big dream still exist.

The other next is the obvious that everyone expects after campus, I am very shy about this topic, strangely. I think the girl in some of us still lives very strongly. So Ideally people are thinking that at this point, I should be thinking, marriage!!!!!!!!!,well you have no idea how i find this topic scary and uncomfortable. I Know right, dont you think a wedding is beautiful yeah, I love weddings i think they are amazing and extremely beautiful but marriage is another thing al together. Are you aware it is a lifetime commitment to one person whom you will see everyday. I think it is a beautiful commitment and yet again there is something strange about the fact that you share everything, including your bed, ayayayay and even children, and then they will look like the both of you, that is alot of sharing

But I guess when someone is deeply in love some of these things seem less complicated, they seem alot more cute,, but since I am not I dont quite understand how people can just sit and stare in to each others eyes, though its so beautiful it drives me to tears, thats why i love romantic stories, usually i cry from begging to the end. Not that I havent been in love before, I have, infarct I was capable of having married by 18,lol, so now id probably have five babies, maybe not, maybe one, but that continues to show you how unpredictable life is, now am the one who doesent really know.But people havent started hinting that I should yet, i think they will next year. I know alot of times those who presided me started going for alter calls to pray to get people of the opposite gender and so I guess alot of people expected that maybe we the fresh team will do the same, I dont think so really,ha ha ha, maybe when we start panicking as well and start jumping for all bouquet of flowers thrown by brides. Personally I dont see why people panic, no pressure because its got to be anyone who makes you real and you can talk to for our hours and from my experience there arent that many people who can, so when you find them or they find you, you will know.

The beauty about this though is that it could be anyone. It could just be anyone terereren. Someone said that it is likely someone among your friends, neighbors, people you met before  and I was like whaaaaaaat pliz do not make such jokes.lol. do you know my friends???? my friends, I call all of them my brothers like all of them. How can you tell me that one day I may possibly wake up next to them. I could run out screaming, my goodness, or maybe not, well I know I have reasoned like a girl in class two who would sit far away from boys because its bad manners, well that is how I think sometimes, though the above fact is an inevitable truth, as I have seen some of my friends start dating each other and am busy laughing at them,ha ha, woi.

I am one very shy girl, extremely shy that if you watch me talking to an attractive man, I i will fidget or I will fold my arms and keep to my self. All this will be hidden behind jokes as iv done for so long, to hide the mischievous smile, and if not Jokes I will not even stay close so people may think am full of my self which am not, I may fumble and say things without thinking or blush really silly and am like why the hell am I this shy, but God knows why there are girls like me who appear so confident and yet so timid and shy and puts around galz like those extremely confident people.

But above all there is a part of me that is growing and seeing things as should be seen. I am actually learning to see invitations for coffee, dinner, lunch, walks, hanging out as not spending time with a brother but someone is actually taking time to get to know me not as a sister, someone I could possibly spend the rest of my life with,(that sounds funny even as I say it). In some cases uncomfortable though sweet, seeing the guy who was all gangster becoming a gentleman and treating you special, in some cases extremely shocking, you are like huuuuuuh why are you telling me all this things, this is for those guys you thought nothing could ever happen, some you thought hated you, in some cases it seems romantic like being in a heaven for a minute and in other cases mysterious which leave you wondering, does he, does he not and Sometimes just like in the movies.

Though there is the last possibility of someone whom you havent met before, maybe a friend of a friend, or someone you will meet in a lift or on the road, or a prince from france, wherever it may find you, you never know. So get lost in conversations, get lost in laughter and dance like no one is watching and you never know maybe someones watching. or maybe not, but there will always be an answer to every question asked.