A sister to sister word to the girls behind us :)

I see my baby cousin smiling and I look in to her eyes and see so much hope, shes so beautiful, isn't she, she is definitely an eye candy. And am thinking she has a loooooong way to go, the beautiful side awaits lucky for you, you've got we to teach you :), gladly.

I am far from perfect, but what I chose not to be is the girl who will fall in the mad and sit there and never get up. I get up, and learn from my million mistakes, so over time I have accumulated knowledge I could share let me show you

we are like flowers; some are red,yellow and others white. Some girls will always be beautiful and they will know it and they will make sure you know it too, in case you forget. Some will be beautiful but they have no idea you have to remind them, Others will always get what they want including your man if you let them around him, a few will always be innocent and sweet and everyone wants to take care of them, quite a number will have to be gangster because they wont get that many opportunities for many people who want to spoil them, and some girls will have excess that they will begin to call them stalkers, others will be blond for real and you will wonder if its humanly possible for one to not know many things they should know, and others will pretend to be blond when convenient, others are perfect, they define the word, they have got it all, the whole package, they walk and all heads turn; but you,you have to choose to be a diamond girl, Diamonds are forever

The first time, the word Mrembo was used on me, I was flattered, extremely flattered after shock of course. Inevitably, then, my head swelled.its like the moment one waits for.I haven't done this but iv seen others call themselves queen shaniqua or princess farida or African beauty etc,lol, i find this hilarious. Immediatly one may feel the whole world needs to know and then you learn why announce it when people can see it. And what is worse what if the one you are announcing to does not behold it,lol. you learn to take the statement that beauty lies on the eyes of the beholder very seriously, well its true others have more beholders than others but even then there is no neccessity to rub it in. Thats why most ladies will hate the song "dont hate me coz am beautiful", really!!!! no one hates others coz you are beautiful. Infarct I realized everyone is called mrembo, at least in Nairobi,lol, so I stopped feeling too good about it. More so we know that as roses fade and shrivel and so does our skin stop glowing.

The meaning of beauty changes too; some time in our lives, it was fashionable to be curvy and everyone wanted a little hip, a little behind, now its fashionable to be skinny, thats why some of us are in constant diets. One time ladies removed there teeth that they could have a huge gap between their teeth because it was considered beautiful, and now if you decided to break your teeth in the name of beauty, you would give an alarming surprise to the world around you, so if we move with these times, we will strive to change every time the meaning of beauty changes, who knows maybe in two years the standard of beauty will be to have broad shoulders.

Timeless beauty, so I have come to realize is a beauty that grows when when one becomes a woman, people are born girls and they are pretty and they grow in to women and they become beautiful like a diamond girl

To be honest we are more alike than we are different so I have come to learn, If you have ever stared in to the mirror to see how you look when you are crying say I? Is there one guy in your life you have met that can make you run from jericho to Jerusalem coz you are obsessed with him?,Have you had that one embarrassing crush that can make you hide behind bushes coz you don't know what to do or what to say, I mean I said that Lusaka is in western province, my goodness its in Zambia, one of my most embarrassing moments.Do you love deeply and foolishly when you are in love, or did you surprising wake up one morning and saw swellings on your chest and realize wololo you've started, or have you ever soaked your pillow with tears and not want to wake up in the morning, or have you ever cried for no good reason, maybe your favorite characters in the movie have kissed and so you cried. See, the difference is in what we see but within we may all just be the same we just love to think we are soooo different. FYI everyone is a princess.

Maybe that's why I find the words wife material, so offensive, not that I haven't qualified,lol, once in a while people have felt the need to hint I am.before I am mistaken to be bitter, but to me it seems like it divides us in to categories. There are hardly perfect beings, though I know there are people who have always had it put together, and some of us though we may appear it, we aren't always, Some of us have been through a constant series of wrong choices until the time we finally found ourselves. For some we were what people call drama queens,we just made a choice to not be dramatic anymore, Others have been referred to as sorority sometimes. Many were gossips until we decided to stop because we knew the consequences of gossip and how hurtful they can be and the worst weve kissed enough frogs before finding the prince, and we survived it all, and yet today we are saying; maybe some paths are not necessary, one can do without, some paths are dangerous, horrendous, potentially embarrassing in future and living nightmares you can avoid because every action has its consequences, well some of us have been afraid that we didn't risk too much, but some of those behind us are risking a bit too much

The people you struggle to impress, you may never see them again, because most people are actually there for a season. if you have to ever get embarrassed for anything,make sure its something you really wanted to do and something that you can laugh about later, eg singing off key in public. its not always smart to glory in shameful situations.Unfortunately what happens in Vagus, never stays in Vagus, people love to share information generously

Well I may just give you blond advice, like please,after your eighteen do not wear purple and yellow on your head like I have dressed you even if  Louis Vuitton says it, as you will later realize those colors do not match at all, or advise like please don't try walking in heels you cant walk in, ever, people are constantly watching and laughing or make sure you don't have chipped nails, which are true facts, Just like I will tell you Jeans, T-shirt and Snickers are a no no unless its a sports event, never weddings.

But there are greater lessons that I could gladly pass on. Life is made of choices, a cumulative sum total of choices. and most definitely it is what you make it. As much as we love the party, its not about partying, most of it is made up of sober moments, had it just been about parting I would live on the beach, which I should when am older, but its made of hard work, preservation of dignity and so much more.

The moments you wish that need to come to pass immediately they do eventually, they leave you stronger when you don't allow them to break you, like the guys you thought you'll never get over, you eventually do and the ones you thought you'll never like, you eventually do. because your order of priorities change and the whole tall dark and handsome thing doesn't work much later, you prefer someone with focus who respects you and treats you right. You don't need to throw your heart to any tom dick or harry who proposes, because dick and harry maybe perfect for Mary and Jane and tom is perfect for you. but if you are with Harry when Tom comes, he will find you with Harry and then he will go for Mary, and the wolololo a distorted order right there.

My grandma says the man who comes to sought for your heart should make all the necessary moves, people have said that you need to walk around the area and position yourself strategically to be spotted,lol. my aunt told me 'girl you need to get out of the house' and for real it works its like magic, it works instantly.well most of the people who say hi to you on the road are not what you want, frequently, so I meant functions,eg weddings, dinners and vacations, well if its happening you should be there looking good not funny, not scandalous, but perfect.about the walking around in one particular guys environs i would not encourage, it may backfire and turn out embarrassing and tragic though if he already has shown interest,maybe. you can appear less obviously. I personally do not prefer that kind of embarrassment, so as I have done in the past I have pretended I am unaware that I am being hit on, its kinda worked and then when I know its serious I respond only then, it really has saved me.

I have always had the policy never conclude someone likes you until he says it, even if you have been on twenty dates. Imagine its safer, it helps you avoid unnecessary drama and potential heart aches. Its even safer when you let the guy like you first if you have no intention of making advances which shy people like me never do, for fear of potential disaster, though its worked for others, if you choose it,well...... i don't know, I really cant help there

I was watching diary of mad black man and it was talking about the angry black woman syndrome. If you find yourself constantly calling men dogs and saying they are lairs, you probably have acquired it by now, its usually so contagious. However the sad truth is sometimes we make constant wrong choices on the people who we pick to handle our hearts or sometimes we break up with a good guy and end up regretting most of our lives, and several wrong choices of those leads us to believe there are no good men but there are, we just keep picking the wrong ones or we keep doing wrong things to the good ones, like pretending you mad for the whole day and expect them to know what you are thinking, don't do it its not a good practice, especially when you are over 21 people expect a lot more from you.

Girls girls we define drama, even where there is none we create it. Even when someone doesn't know you or even your  name, you prefer to say they don't like you. But drama has never been rewarding if you are in the midst of it, ever. well at times we may just want to give people what to talk about, well and surely they do. But usually you loose more friends than you gain by being dramatic.Another thing, the other way to grow without friends is try being a bitch.well the time i tried being one i felt horrible for crashing everyones day, i wonder how people do it every day, but if you crush mine be sure i will crash yours too based on previous experiences, no lies.but why drama isn't necessary is coz it ruins your life more than it builds it, though the moment you decide you want no drama, imagine you wont have it, there is nothing better than a life with no drama. Those things that you may feel you must address, maybe you really do not, you can just let them pass

The world is made of real and fake friends, you just have to be smart to know which ones you have. And not everyone can be in your inner circle, if you are a normal human being. But do not resist new chances to make new friendships, life is made of those.

There will be temptations to pose fake and pretend to be someone else. Resist it vehemently, people are smart and they can read through falseness, so be yourself and let people fall in love with the real you. Make yourself an irresistible package that even if you are from the bundus people want to be around you, it helps being pleasant and kind

Prince charming- There is no prince charming, you make him a prince because you love him. and because of what you choose to say about him, so he become a prince to you because of what you have made him. But if you talk badly about him, your friends will hate him instead. So relationship dramas don't need to be shared always, they just need to be solved.

Never allow yourself to be a victim, take charge- In case you find yourself  that you you have been involuntarily placed in the midst of drama you have the choice to flee or address it like a decent woman. Fighting with girls younger than you, will make you feel very disappointed in yourself. So smile and leave, deal with the man who has brought younger girls in your life for drama and release him immediately.

If ever by any chance your heart is broken, cry, weep wail, just for a moment but get up, let not thy problems ever define you. Most of us have been there but we learned to move past the problems and thats why we are diamond girls now, strong, confident and not easily broken above all we learned to cast our troubles elsewhere, we learned to pray, maybe not shouting but in a small still voice, and so we still sparkle somehow. eventually all the dirty traces in our pasts aren't there anymore

The people who inspired the world are not people who people who woke and said what a bad day it is. It is those who woke and were grateful for the sun, grateful for music, grateful for friendships and grateful for love. They weren't perfect people but they know that life is not to be taken for granted, in the midst of all this lessons life is to be enjoyed, and true life is not about partying but when moments come like those I hope you dance, I hope you smile and hope you give love and hope you will stand out for being one whose presence is felt. So above all the roses i hope you pick is the red rose

I hope you find drama appalling and hopefully be able to resist and learn that you are not defined by drama. 

So eventually we imperfect girls become perfect in our daughter eyes and in our mans eyes.we finally get over and there is no trace of our mistakes.And through our mistakes we get perfect tools like the strength of a woman and we develop thick skins enough for the  greater cause, and we stop crying c0z big girls don't cry and eventually we are put together because queens are not supposed to loose it, they are supposed to find it.