GRANDPA DIARIES(AND WHY YOU SHOULD JUST GET YOUR OWN MAN!!!!!)
Now should I bring a man home, that my father is wondering whether to call brother in law or son in law, but worse father in law. Then I will have subjected heavy shock to my folks, which my mother wouldn't be too shocked, sometimes I think she expects anything from her beloved daughter. But just like my parents, I do have a problem with grandpas posing as eligible bachelors too.WTH!!!!!!
Okay now before you think I am going crazy, Grandpas in this case I mean married men. Because single old men are eligible bachelors. I did not pass any sort of judgement on Emmy Kosgey and her rich husband. I think that is perfectly okay. BUT these others, man!!!! make me go crazy and catch high blood pressure always waiting for the right statement to package my one hour lecture of what I think about them.
Inevitably like every Nairobi girl I have been exposed to numerous of this kind. Usually easier to be dramatic when it is those random ones that whistle as if they are still living in their teen years, stopping cars on the road. But worse if it is those whom you find in your career path or even colleagues, clients, you obviously are supposed to exercise womanly wisdom instead of shouting at them, like you would people who have no consequence to your life. And really they do come in all forms, shapes and sizes.
Well all my life, that is one of the things that I have often decided I would never do. One, out of principle and choice, but two I do think it is utterly embarrassing and humiliating. Like even when I am doing business, and even more when I did sales and had to go on a business date with a man of mature age, incase I met someone,I would always feel obliged to explain in over thirty minutes that this------> here is a BUSINESS MEETING!!!!. And obviously you cant wait for it to be over, lest people think otherwise you have migrated to grandpas as a lifestyle. But even then, I have been caught up in TRICK situation when linked to my career situation, with promise of networking or in response to clients and work related issues.
One fine day after a play, I got a call from the office and told I needed to go in to the office to pick something. So me in my head, I am thinking I have been called for another script, apparently I had done an extraordinary performance on the last show, so I was told. And it being my first, i was overly excited.
Turns out though, it was nothing related to another play, it was one member of the viewers who had seen it fit to send me flowers for what he termed as amazing performance, extraordinary that reminded him of someone. First before I thought it was a lady who had sent them, I was thrilled, that I must admit. There was a number there for me to call. Courtesy calls that I should call and say thank you for the flowers. So I did. He had a tenor, so I was sure it was a boy obviously, until eventually when I got to meet him. I was like Hwaaaaaaaat!!!!!
That awkward moment when you see the person you are talking to, you haven't met them but they have met you, and you see they are grandpas. I thought I was gonna die!!! on the spot. So thoughts in my head, should I turn back right away but then again this is my client, like, he is my audience right!!!. So what should I do? Yo Esther Neema at a cross roads, between ditching the grandpa or sitting for what would feel like nine excruciating hours, trying to hold myself from lecturing this individual, which didn't seem wise too, I was only 24, enough to be a mother, but still with a younger mind of not knowing what a girl should do. So I went ahead and sat, out of courtesy. Remember my reputation is on the line. I had the whole fake smile going on the whole time.But imagine one thing that I know, now that I am a woman, IMAGINE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SIT THERE!!!!! Tell that individual off. 9 excruciating hours are not worth wasting for someone who is out to RUIN YOUR LIFE. Anyhu turns out that I couldn't wade him off, in the name of being polite. My mother had to do it at some point in a very dramatic way, and lecture him on my behalf.he he he, that was funny.
Sadly though, one would think this happens only at that tender age, but imagine no. Someone would imagine that you can fool a 26 year old with galitoz fries, YOU ARE JOKING RIGHT!!!!!Are you crazy!!!! Nowadays I have adopted the indirect approach of using scenarios. In that I am talking to you, but I am not really saying it is you.
For example----> "What's with older men who are trying to ruin young girls life, it is so unfair and cruel" and I go on and on and on and on and on. Usually I mean you, but I wont say it is you. But turns out we Kenyans are very smart, we figure when the conversation is being directed at us. That's when the bill is cleared really fast and what was "supposedly" supposed to be a "business meeting" kumbe it's tricking me in to coming on a date with this grandpa ends no sooner had it begun.
I give people a chance to prove themselves, I will actually go for the "business meeting", seriously. I am not going to assume, you are out to get me, unless you behave or say something. Kwani what am I, a bitter woman, no!! I shall wait for you to behave in a manner likely to suggest or even dare to to say a statement close, then I shall blast you in an hour with indirect scenarios. I think those are some of the privileges of being a woman. My mum doesn't do it for me anymore, she knows I will come with a victorious story. It was not a business meeting after all. But she still insists you shouldn't even go in the first place, which I a agree, they could be rapist or worse people will imagine you have developed a new taste of grandpas. Or else if you go, go with your other power puff girls, which is is even more annoying. So You need to ask yourself "what happened to board rooms" are they better meeting places as well.
I am not really a hero to say the least, I have done things that I am not proud of, even you would probably say you don't know me, I failed in many things, but I would never cross that line. Sad is it that girls should do it all the time. WAIT IN THE LINE for another woman's husband or even boyfriend. And even not just because it is sad for the family, the wife and the kids who sometimes go without fees coz you are eating galitoz chicken, but even for your pride, your worth. Should someone just come and take you and drop you, to catch the next and drop you, probably leave you with babies for galitoz chicken. Is it REALLY worth it. Why should you accept to be second best, or that girl that is hidden and can only be called when someone is hiding behind a fridge, never introduced to anyone and phone number saved on the phone as plumber, only called when he want to, or has fought with the wife. Sweetheart, uncomplicate your life. You are far too precious for that.
A girl was telling me one time, that what she does is she "eats their money" and hepas them. Then me in my head I was like, One day it will catch up with you. You will be caught in a room and you cant move hmmmm. He doesnt think you are wife material and has attached you value to chips and sausage and galitoz chicken, there is a problem.
But even more, I always imagine one day I will have a family and my Kids. What if a ratchet times my man as well. I would not be held accountable for the words lacking wisdom I can throw at her, and no one should blame a woman for removing the weave of such an individual, but what if, someone all over sudden someone feels a better companion to my man, and insists on sharing goods that should not be shared? It never just hurts one person, but an entire system, and still in the end you are the looser, you have neither the man, the reputation and sometimes not even the money. It is never worth it, unless you are genuinely becoming a second wife, I think you should JUST GET YOUR OWN MAN. And dude, pris age gracefully, usijiabishe. It never looks good on your CV as you try to whistle outside the car of you window to someone who could be your grand daughter. ujitafutia matusi bure.
And for the chic, Don't imagine you are the better companion that you should save him from his miserable life/wife. Don't assume you would be a better wife to a man who has endeavoured to see the worst in a woman who believed in him when he was nothing and sagging his pants hopeless and broke. You just need to find yours and grow with him to the man he becomes, and hope a ratchet doesn't come and take him. But you will only be justified if you didn't already do that to other women right! Right!!!.
Okay now before you think I am going crazy, Grandpas in this case I mean married men. Because single old men are eligible bachelors. I did not pass any sort of judgement on Emmy Kosgey and her rich husband. I think that is perfectly okay. BUT these others, man!!!! make me go crazy and catch high blood pressure always waiting for the right statement to package my one hour lecture of what I think about them.
Inevitably like every Nairobi girl I have been exposed to numerous of this kind. Usually easier to be dramatic when it is those random ones that whistle as if they are still living in their teen years, stopping cars on the road. But worse if it is those whom you find in your career path or even colleagues, clients, you obviously are supposed to exercise womanly wisdom instead of shouting at them, like you would people who have no consequence to your life. And really they do come in all forms, shapes and sizes.
Well all my life, that is one of the things that I have often decided I would never do. One, out of principle and choice, but two I do think it is utterly embarrassing and humiliating. Like even when I am doing business, and even more when I did sales and had to go on a business date with a man of mature age, incase I met someone,I would always feel obliged to explain in over thirty minutes that this------> here is a BUSINESS MEETING!!!!. And obviously you cant wait for it to be over, lest people think otherwise you have migrated to grandpas as a lifestyle. But even then, I have been caught up in TRICK situation when linked to my career situation, with promise of networking or in response to clients and work related issues.
One fine day after a play, I got a call from the office and told I needed to go in to the office to pick something. So me in my head, I am thinking I have been called for another script, apparently I had done an extraordinary performance on the last show, so I was told. And it being my first, i was overly excited.
Turns out though, it was nothing related to another play, it was one member of the viewers who had seen it fit to send me flowers for what he termed as amazing performance, extraordinary that reminded him of someone. First before I thought it was a lady who had sent them, I was thrilled, that I must admit. There was a number there for me to call. Courtesy calls that I should call and say thank you for the flowers. So I did. He had a tenor, so I was sure it was a boy obviously, until eventually when I got to meet him. I was like Hwaaaaaaaat!!!!!
That awkward moment when you see the person you are talking to, you haven't met them but they have met you, and you see they are grandpas. I thought I was gonna die!!! on the spot. So thoughts in my head, should I turn back right away but then again this is my client, like, he is my audience right!!!. So what should I do? Yo Esther Neema at a cross roads, between ditching the grandpa or sitting for what would feel like nine excruciating hours, trying to hold myself from lecturing this individual, which didn't seem wise too, I was only 24, enough to be a mother, but still with a younger mind of not knowing what a girl should do. So I went ahead and sat, out of courtesy. Remember my reputation is on the line. I had the whole fake smile going on the whole time.But imagine one thing that I know, now that I am a woman, IMAGINE YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SIT THERE!!!!! Tell that individual off. 9 excruciating hours are not worth wasting for someone who is out to RUIN YOUR LIFE. Anyhu turns out that I couldn't wade him off, in the name of being polite. My mother had to do it at some point in a very dramatic way, and lecture him on my behalf.he he he, that was funny.
Sadly though, one would think this happens only at that tender age, but imagine no. Someone would imagine that you can fool a 26 year old with galitoz fries, YOU ARE JOKING RIGHT!!!!!Are you crazy!!!! Nowadays I have adopted the indirect approach of using scenarios. In that I am talking to you, but I am not really saying it is you.
For example----> "What's with older men who are trying to ruin young girls life, it is so unfair and cruel" and I go on and on and on and on and on. Usually I mean you, but I wont say it is you. But turns out we Kenyans are very smart, we figure when the conversation is being directed at us. That's when the bill is cleared really fast and what was "supposedly" supposed to be a "business meeting" kumbe it's tricking me in to coming on a date with this grandpa ends no sooner had it begun.
I give people a chance to prove themselves, I will actually go for the "business meeting", seriously. I am not going to assume, you are out to get me, unless you behave or say something. Kwani what am I, a bitter woman, no!! I shall wait for you to behave in a manner likely to suggest or even dare to to say a statement close, then I shall blast you in an hour with indirect scenarios. I think those are some of the privileges of being a woman. My mum doesn't do it for me anymore, she knows I will come with a victorious story. It was not a business meeting after all. But she still insists you shouldn't even go in the first place, which I a agree, they could be rapist or worse people will imagine you have developed a new taste of grandpas. Or else if you go, go with your other power puff girls, which is is even more annoying. So You need to ask yourself "what happened to board rooms" are they better meeting places as well.
I am not really a hero to say the least, I have done things that I am not proud of, even you would probably say you don't know me, I failed in many things, but I would never cross that line. Sad is it that girls should do it all the time. WAIT IN THE LINE for another woman's husband or even boyfriend. And even not just because it is sad for the family, the wife and the kids who sometimes go without fees coz you are eating galitoz chicken, but even for your pride, your worth. Should someone just come and take you and drop you, to catch the next and drop you, probably leave you with babies for galitoz chicken. Is it REALLY worth it. Why should you accept to be second best, or that girl that is hidden and can only be called when someone is hiding behind a fridge, never introduced to anyone and phone number saved on the phone as plumber, only called when he want to, or has fought with the wife. Sweetheart, uncomplicate your life. You are far too precious for that.
A girl was telling me one time, that what she does is she "eats their money" and hepas them. Then me in my head I was like, One day it will catch up with you. You will be caught in a room and you cant move hmmmm. He doesnt think you are wife material and has attached you value to chips and sausage and galitoz chicken, there is a problem.
But even more, I always imagine one day I will have a family and my Kids. What if a ratchet times my man as well. I would not be held accountable for the words lacking wisdom I can throw at her, and no one should blame a woman for removing the weave of such an individual, but what if, someone all over sudden someone feels a better companion to my man, and insists on sharing goods that should not be shared? It never just hurts one person, but an entire system, and still in the end you are the looser, you have neither the man, the reputation and sometimes not even the money. It is never worth it, unless you are genuinely becoming a second wife, I think you should JUST GET YOUR OWN MAN. And dude, pris age gracefully, usijiabishe. It never looks good on your CV as you try to whistle outside the car of you window to someone who could be your grand daughter. ujitafutia matusi bure.
And for the chic, Don't imagine you are the better companion that you should save him from his miserable life/wife. Don't assume you would be a better wife to a man who has endeavoured to see the worst in a woman who believed in him when he was nothing and sagging his pants hopeless and broke. You just need to find yours and grow with him to the man he becomes, and hope a ratchet doesn't come and take him. But you will only be justified if you didn't already do that to other women right! Right!!!.
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